1. Coffee here is divine. Step forward Juan Valdez.

2. Everyone’s an eco-Hitler. There is a ‘No Car Day’ once a year. Your flatmates will be obsessed with turning out lights.

3. People are paid to wear orange jackets and help adults cross the road.

4. There are palm trees in Calle 57. We’re at an altitude of 2,600m, somewhere in the middle of the Andes and there are palm trees in Calle 57.

5. Sometimes people sell chocolate on the buses. Sometimes they rap.

6. Random power cuts help maintain that Blitz spirit.

7. Two-hour salsa classes cost £1.75 and that includes a beer.

8. Hearing “You look beautiful” three times a day is probably good for you.

9. Britain never invaded.

10. Manicures cost £1.75. They last for two weeks.

11. Streets are numbered, not named. You don’t need an A-Z.

12. Even if your haircut takes 3.5…